Departure at Hand

This poem was written about the coming end to my service as a full-time missionary. I have two months left and it is starting to feel real. However, I wrote it to also double as an end to this life. I find that the most growth comes in those moments where we evaluate where we are and create a vision of where we want to go. I want to be faithful to what I know and believe in to the very end of my life, always being found in the service of others.

Is is really my time,
Oh, Lord must I go?
At the end of the road,
Do my efforts now show?

Did I labor with all
My heart and my might
Or was I distracted
And lost out on light?

Did I keep all my cov'nants
Or just see the rules?
Did I learn from His wisdom
Or seek to please fools?

Did I trust in my Savior?
Did I truly become?
When I struggled within
To His feet did I run?

Did I make my Lord proud?
When I see him again
Will I praise Him aloud
Or hide shameful in sin?

Now I look back and see
Through the course of my days
He saved my poor soul
In a number of ways.

No words can express
The thoughts of my heart.
He whispers to me
"You've finished your part."

There's really no ending
It's time to move forward
To another beginning
So keep looking onward.

Yes, I'm ready to go
My departure is near
And the love of my Lord
Erases all fear.

I have fought a good fight
While my Lord kept me safe.
I have finished my course
I have kept strong the faith.

2 Timothy 4:16-17
D&C 4:2

My Eternal Family

So, for those of you who don't know, my mother passed away almost two years ago.

There have been a lot of things that have helped over time to look forward in hope. There is the knowledge that her spirit lives on, that she is learning to see herself the way she couldn't while she was here, and that I will see her once again. There is also the joy of reminiscing, it always brings a smile to think of all the good times that we had together.

That is why I love family history.

When I was younger, I used to wonder how I could really be involved. I didn't understand the website. The whole idea of finding names and dates of my ancestors was overwhelming.

Recently, however, we have started using family history more in our missionary work. As we explored what it really is and how we can use it, we filled out a booklet with stories and pictures of our ancestors. It brought a lot of peace. I was able to put stories and pictures on familysearch.org and link them to my mother's profile. It brought me closer to her. It helped me remember the good times and appreciate her sacrifices.

There is power in family history. Anyone who really engages themselves in it and comes to love that work will be able to testify of the spirit of love that it brings.

Because, really, this is what the Gospel is all about. In The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the fundamental unit is the family. 

Our central message is simple: Through Jesus Christ and His Atonement, all people will have an opportunity to return home to a loving Heavenly Father and live eternally as a family.

The Ups and Downs

Just like every other week, there are ups and downs.

The Ups

The highlight of the week was probably the baptism that we had on Saturday. She was so happy, she was glowing. Everything about her just seemed radiant! I felt overwhelmed with joy just looking at her. I am so privileged to get to know her. She has strengthened me in so many ways.

The Downs

One of the biggest challenges of last week was probably just feeling down. Sometimes I just get those times where I find myself sad and it takes me a while to realize that it is because I miss my mom. She passed away last July.

Even when it is hard, I take comfort in studying the Plan of Salvation and knowing that she is with my two siblings that passed away, that she is resting from all her health problems, and that she is learning to appreciate the wonderful woman that she is. I look forward to getting to go to the temple at the end of this transfer. I can always feel her closer when I am in the temple. It has always been one of my favorite places; no matter what is going on in life, I walk into the temple and know that I am home.